“Doubt is the skeleton in the closet of faith,” Philip Yancey writes in Reaching for the Invisible God. And it certainly rings true for me too. I hide the doubt in my inner soul closet on spiritually good days when everything is going well. And on those bad days, when traumatic circumstances cause me to question God’s goodness, I try hard not to let it out. I try not to let the doubt win.

Nevertheless, whether a good day or bad, I’ve come to realize something significant. Doubt doesn’t equal a lack of faith. It shouldn’t be feared or criticized or judged either. Rather, doubt is one of the greatest catalysts for intimacy with Jesus I’ve ever found. In fact, we grow much more in times of doubt and hardship, that is, if we’re willing to take our doubts to God and seek Him like the doubting Thomas did.

You see, Thomas didn’t let his faith rest on what the world said he should believe or shouldn’t. His doubts drove him straight to Jesus. Thomas didn’t even let the other disciples convince him of what to think. Rather, he says, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” (John 20:25). While it may be easy to criticize Thomas here, Thomas wasn’t without faith. Rather, he was hungry for intimacy. He wanted Jesus to be his only Source, his only Strength, his only Answer to his many questions. And ironically, Jesus rewarded Thomas incredibly for his pursuits. Thomas was the only person in scripture that Jesus ever commanded to touch Him. He was the only one who felt His wounds, who experienced the death marks and then the life marks—breath, softness, warmth—with such proximity and intimacy.

Therefore, if you’re struggling with doubts, hear Jesus’ same invitation. Reach out and touch Him. Seek Him again. Ask Him to show you His unconditional love, His all-consuming grace. And if that skeleton of doubt needs to rest in the back of your spiritual closet for a while longer, that’s ok too. Just keep seeking because you’re not just reaching out to an invisible God. You’re reaching up to Jesus. He’s the One who holds you fast (Psalm 139:10). He will keep you in the palm of His nail-scarred hand.

*First published by The Joyful Life Magazine.